Reaching out and letting go.

Where does my path lead to? It's a crazy world I'm living now. Everything I've secured have fallen apart. It's like one giant wreaking ball gone loose over my life. Or a richter-tipping earthquake gone selective over which structure to demolish.

There is a threat to cut short my independence. All arguments point to a simple solution of letting go of the freedom I'm enjoying now. This is the easy way out. Pack up my stuff and move. But I'm not ready nor willing to give it up. I have invested too much. Planned too much. It's a "one step forward, two steps back" scenario. It ain't progressive. I am not letting go.

Which can't be said about my other comfort zone. I am at a loss. I have not intentionally done anything wrong. But i am sensing a lot of negative energy. Come to think of it, I haven't actually sensed anything but avoidance and a cold shoulder. Maybe there is a need to reach out. To ask. To find out. Bridge the gap. And if it fails, to let go. Or, what I should be letting go is this need to be reaffirmed. I am my own person. There is truth to the old adage, "tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are".

Nothing is final. The wind blows where it wills. I need more information before I could bend my future to my will. I need to be vigilant. Attune to warning signs around me.

What is important at this point is for me to reaffirm myself. Old beliefs are being shattered. New outlooks are being established. It's a major clean-up operation of my messy life.